Connections - Episode 4

Jesus, you're worse than me. Actually, uh, we need something a little bit harder this time. Maybe some, uh, some coke?

You know I only keep weed, man. Thought I taught you guys better.

Dude. It's a matter of pussy.

Alright, broheim. I'll be right back.

Dude, you might actually come through for once.

We're gonna get some pussy. I don't know, man. Larry's notoriously shady.

He's alright. Kinda like Watterson. Creepy butt.

He's likable. Man, Watterson sucks. All he did was creep everybody out. That's why I'm always telling you, give me Spicoli any day.

How can you compare the coolness of Watterson to a stoner stereotype like Spicoli?

Spicoli is my spiritual guru. I met my entire life after his teachings.

If you have to model yourself off a movie character, Watterson is shit. I'm here, man. Living. L-I-V-I-N.

He's like the fucking Dalai Lama. It's not about what Spicoli said. It's about how he lived. If the Buddha was alive today, he would be Spicoli. The Buddha had nothing to do with this. The Buddha has everything to do with this. He embodies everything that's good about people. Serenity, calm, and love.

I mean, what did Watterson ever do that was good for anybody? Nail hot high school checks? Isn't that enough?

Sorry it took so long, boys. Had to weigh it out.

Thanks, bro. What do we owe you?

This is on the house. Really? Yeah, I hope you guys get what you deserve.

Larry, one time, just for the record. Who's the cooler person to emulate? Watterson or Spicoli?

They're both punk-ass bitches next to the dude. The dude is the way. All things flow through the dude. You're a fucking idiot. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Never call into question the brilliance of the Coen brothers. Now be gone with you. Dude, I'm sorry bro. I said, be gone.

Hi, it's Lauren.

From campus? Right, the girl with the sampling problem. If that's what you want to call it. So let's get together and get something to eat. No thanks. That's not really why I called. So why did you call? Actually, I'm not sure. Well, how about we get together tomorrow and figure it out? Maybe. Great.

Just text me the address. I'll pick you up at 7. Well, uh... Bye.

It's so... White.

Well, yeah. That's how it's supposed to come. You know?

Yeah. Okay.

So, uh... When should I go first?

I think Sarah should go. Shut up, Clarissa. Well, this was your idea.

She right. It was your idea.

Fine. I should taste it first. Make sure it's pure. Oh my God, it's Sugar.

What? That's impossible.

No, I know Sugar. I haven't had her for two years. Oh my God, she's gonna be so bloated. You guys ruin everything. You're pathetic. Come on, Clarissa. We're going.

You guys are such losers.

Dude, what just happened, man?

We got fucked.