What Kind of Stuck Are You?
As a coach, I've developed a strange relationship with the phrase "I'm stuck." It's just specific enough to feel descriptive without being descriptive.
Obviously, my clients are stuck. Otherwise, they wouldn't be sitting across from me, but what kind of stuck?
Are you stuck on flypaper or in a vat of honey? Are you able to move or are you locked in on all sides? Does the problem wiggle when you touch it, or is it solid like dry cement?
It turns out that stuck can mean any number of things, and treating all stuck the same way is exactly why so many creative entrepreneurs stay that way.
There's a meaningful difference between the three most common varieties, and each one calls for a completely different response. Applying the wrong fix doesn't just fail to help; it can make things considerably worse.
- Wall: You've been chiseling at the same problem for weeks, maybe months, and hopefully not years. You're sure if you think harder, push harder, try one more time, it'll give. It won't...because it's a wall. Walls don't care how smart you are or how much you want it. You can stand in front of it for the rest of your life chiseling, and at the end of your life there will probably still be a wall.
- Fog: You don't know where you are or what direction you're facing, and you can't see two feet in front of you. Every choice feels arbitrary because you can't tell where any of them lead. You keep trying to see the whole thing before you move, because moving without a plan feels reckless...so you don't move. You sit there waiting for clarity that isn't coming. The whole time, you call it procrastination, or burnout, or a discipline problem.
- Quicksand: The output is up, the hours are up, and it sure looks like you're doing...something. From the outside you're crushing it, but every week costs more than the week before with less to show for it. The work is heavier and you're getting less for it. Each step makes it worse, but you keep stepping.
Since not all stuck is the same, not all stuck deserves the same response. Applying force to fog exhausts you. Resting in front of a wall doesn't move you. Pushing harder into quicksand buries you deeper. The wrong prescription doesn't just fail; it costs you time, energy, and confidence you can't easily recover.
The creators who get unstuck fastest are the ones who know the problem they're dealing with and apply the right solutions to get out of it.
Start by knowing your stuck. Then, you can get past it. How? Let's get into some actual strategies:
Mounting the Wall
You've probably been treating it like a puzzle, but puzzles have solutions hidden inside them. They're also fun and rewarding. A wall is just a wall, and even the most beautifully muraled wall is only fun for a few minutes. How do you surmount a wall?
- Go around it. Most walls aren't as wide as you think. You've been chiseling at the front because that's where you started, but the wall probably has edges. Going around means seeing the same project from a different angle. There's always an angle, but you haven't looked for one because you've been busy chiseling.
- Walk away. Some walls are telling you the project is dead. The offer doesn't work because the market doesn't want it. The book doesn't work because you don't actually want to write it. The launch doesn't work because the foundation underneath it is built on the wrong assumption. If you've been chiseling for a year and you've made no progress and every angle leads back to the same wall, the wall is telling you something.
- Knock on the door. Most walls have a door, even if it's just for guards to get in and out. There is almost certainly somebody who has already solved the problem, and they're not hiding. You just haven't asked. The reason most people don't knock is ego. They want to figure it out themselves. They want the win to be clean. Forget the clean win. Knock on the door. The person on the other side will almost always open it, at least a crack, and what takes you six months alone takes six minutes with them.
The hardest part of walls is admitting they weren't meant to be broken through with brute force. Luckily, that doesn't mean you can't get around them.
Traversing the Fog
The thing about being lost is that walking faster doesn't help. You can cover a lot of ground in fog and end up exactly where you started, or even further away from your goal, and the only thing you'll have to show for it is exhaustion. You need bearings. Here's how you get them.
- Find a landmark. Anything fixed that you can orient against to get your bearings. What's the one thing you're sure of? Who is this for? Why does it matter? What does done look like? How have you done this before? Pick one true thing and stand next to it. You don't need the whole map, just one fixed point to navigate from, hopefully with a light.
- Stop trying to see into the distance. Fog punishes long sightlines. Look at what's two feet in front of you and deal with that. Then look at the next two feet. Eventually, the horizon will come back into view, but it comes back gradually, and trying to force it just keeps you spinning.
- Ask somebody where you are. This is the fog version of knocking on the door. Somebody who has been through this kind of project before can tell you, in about ten minutes, roughly where you are and which direction is forward. You cannot get this from inside the fog. You have to call out. The cost of asking is a small amount of pride. The cost of not asking is months.
The point of escaping fog is to stop walking in circles, orient yourself, and move forward with good directions.
Escaping the Quicksand
Everything you want to do in quicksand is wrong. To survive, you have to do the opposite of what your body is screaming at you to do. Here's how you actually get out.
- Stop moving. Thrashing creates suction. The harder you fight, the deeper you go. Stop adding output. Stop launching the next thing. Stop pushing the broken project one more inch forward. Whatever you've been doing every day to try to fix this, stop doing it. The sinking stops when the thrashing stops.
- Lean back. Quicksand is denser than you are. The reason people drown is that they stay vertical and panic, driving all their weight into one point. The move is to get horizontal and spread the load across the surface. Whatever you've been pushing into the ground with all your force is the thing pulling you under. Take the pressure off it. Put weight somewhere else. Not because the one thing is wrong, but because no single thing can hold all of you.
- Grab the rope. Almost nobody gets out of quicksand alone. Somebody walks by. They throw a branch, a rope, or offer a hand. Take it, and let them pull. The reason people don't reach for help is mainly ego. They'd rather drown quietly than be seen sinking. Do better. Call the person who has been where you are and tell them you need help. Let them throw the rope.
The cruel thing about quicksand is that you've probably been in it for a while, and have likely built up a whole identity around the thrashing. You're the person who works harder and pushes through, but that's just making things worse.
Regardless of your stuck, the answer isn't working harder, pushing through, or gutting it out one more time. The way out is knowing which kind of stuck you're in and doing the specific thing that gets you out of that one.
Most creators stay stuck because they're applying fixes that only make the problem worse. They chisel at walls, run in fog, and thrash in quicksand. Then, they wonder why they're exhausted and not getting anywhere.
Instead, stop, look at what kind of stuck you're actually in, and respond with the right solutions. Then, you'll not only get unstuck, but you'll stop wasting so much energy doing the wrong thing.